GRWM— Would You Rather featuring D.T. Robbins
Issue #8
GRWM (Get Ready With Me) is a (dare I say sexy!) segment where I'll be interviewing writers retro-style-- cute little questionnaires about what writers are wearing, listening to, snacking on, etc. We want to know what they're into and what gives them the ick. We want writing prompts based on their books. We want to know their favorite song, the worst writing advice they've ever received, and you better believe we want to know their brunch order.
It's time to stop asking writers the same boring questions and start getting REAL.
D.T. Robbins is the founding editor of Rejection Letters and the author of several books, including Birds Aren’t Real and This Is What Happens When You Leave Me Alone. This (Leasing) is his first novel.
Would You Rather…?
Teach a writing class or take a writing class?
I have my MFA in Creative Writing (booorrrrinnnnngggg), and I already teach some English Comp classes at a local university, but I’ve yet to teach any creative writing classes. I’d kinda rather do that but feel like my class would greatly differ than the ones I took. I just want writers to have fun with their writing. Writing is so daunting sometimes. It’s hardly ever talked about as being fun. Even the miserable shit can be fun to write! I’m a huge fan of horror movies and always leave thinking, “Oh fuck! That movie scared the shit out of me. That was fun!” I wanna see that happen in a classroom.
Live on a boat or in a treehouse?
This is kind of tough because I wholeheartedly believe that the ocean is trying to kill us. I can’t prove it, but I know this deep in my bones. That said, where is this treehouse going to be? The jungle is also a terrifying place—anacondas, those fox/bat hybrid fucking things, spiders (oof!), etc. This is basically like asking me where I want to die. So, maybe a boat? Does the boat have to be in the water? Can it be in a driveway? Can the treehouse be in my backyard? If either are located on my property, I’m fine with either.
Publish a paperback or hardcover?
I’ve never published a hardcover. So, hardcover. I want to take said hardcover and mail it to my 10th grade English teacher, Coach Tebo, who said I’d never amount to anything, with an inscription on the inside that says, “Choke on this, you redneck bastard!” with a bunch of x’s and o’s next to it.
Only read poetry for one year or only write poetry for one year?
Only write it for a year, definitely. There’s a lot of wiggle room here to be creative and write some cool shit.
Read the entire works of Philip Roth or of Flannery O’Connor?
Is it weird that I’ve already read most of Flannery O’Connor’s stuff? I’d read most of it again.
Spend an afternoon at the library or at a museum?
One million percent a museum. I want to walk around and stare at things. I want to roam. I want to crawl into a painting and ask everyone in the painting what’s up.
Read in front of an audience of ten people who love you or to 10,000 strangers?
My gut instinct is to read in front of ten people I love. I get super nervous reading, to be honest. I might not be the best reader. I did a reading last year where I read one of my short stories from Birds Aren’t Real and started laughing halfway through because I just realized how ridiculous the story (most of my stories) was. It was nice that other people laughed. Anyway, maybe it’s easier to read in front of 10K strangers because, like, if I bomb, fuck it. I’m never gonna see them again!
Write in solitude or among noise?
I like going to breweries and writing, so there’s a bit of both here. Sometimes it’s louder and I’m able to drown it out by downing a beer. Sometimes it’s really quiet and I love that too.
Write a novel from the POV of an animal or write a novel from the POV of a ghost?
LMFAO! So, I’ve written several stories already from the POV of a ghost, so I think I’m gonna go with writing from the POV of an animal. The question is what animal? Maybe a snail. No, that sucks. A hawk? No. That’s cliche. Maybe a fungus. That would be cool.
Would you rather wake up to find that you’re 7 years younger or 7 years older?
If nothing were to change about my life other than age, I’d go with 7 years younger. But if we’re talking going back in time, oof. Hard pass. I’d move forward.
Novel written in POV of snail 🐌 takes a slow but steady fun slippery slime trail that reflects light of day and glows in moonlight . Could be possibly smashing or picked up by a raccoon that washes his tidbit before escargot devoured.